Good days and bad days

14.02pm - There are going to be good days and bad days, yesterday was a good day and today has been a good day, not because anything spectacular happened, but just because I coped better. Trevor's condition has not really changed, but being under sedation makes him calmer and more peaceful. I was glad that this morning when we visited he opened his eyes quite a few times and that made me relieved. Luckily also this morning I had a lot of things to tell Trevor, so that gave me something to do when I was visiting with him. Something else that makes today a good day, is finding out that Trevor's brother is probably coming here from England to see Trevor and all of us. I know that will mean a lot to Trevor.

Oh and I did my run today :) I told myself yesterday that today I was going to start running again (first time since Wednesday) and I did...not much, it was 1.42km's in a time of 9.42mins...its a start. I'm going to try do it every day, but if my legs can't handle that, then three times a week.
Yesterday Matthew came up with a very good idea. He suggested we ask people to write Trevor messages and things (preferably handwritten but even emailed would be good) and that we put it in a scrap book, so that when Trevor is able, he can look through it. Matthew has started asking people for messages and I bought a scrap book today.

A while ago, my daughter Nicole offered me a fish tank (I love tropical fish) and I was all excited about it, but at the time, Trevor said we can't have it, because we have no place for it....now strictly speaking, thats not true, we could have found a place for it, but at the time I let it go. This morning, I told Trevor that he has to get well soon, because now that he's not home he can't stop me from getting the fish tank, so when he gets back there will be fish firmly ensconsed in the house :) I find watching fish very relaxing and I know although Trevor will probably moan about it when he comes home, he will end up loving the fish even more than I do...lol thats what always happens. So today when shopping, Seleste wanted to go to the pet shop to get dog food, so Nicole and I went to look at the fish and I fell in love with green spotted puffer fish...they were so cute and when we walked from one side of their tank to the other side they followed us :)

16.34pm - *sigh* well, it looks like the puffer fish, no matter how cute, won't be in my fishtank, they are difficult to care for and don't always 'play nice'. Apparently other fish in a tank with them can 'disappear' or have the fins or tails chewed. They also need salty water and the water needs to be changed frequently etc...thats too much work that I don't need now. I also read that you need to feed them snails to keep their beaks sharp.... :( shame poor snails...so no puffer fish.

Yesterday and today, I have been remarkably calm and felt strong and able to cope with things which is a blessing. I must just say a very special thank you to my brother Kenny....I won't say why here, but he knows why.

I took a break and didn't go to the 3pm visiting session, but apparently Trevor had been given pain medication and so was very much asleep...so that makes me feel easier about not having been there. As much as I want to go to every visiting hour I can, I know that this is going to be a LONG process, so I need to make sure I take breaks from things, so that I don't overstress myself because if I fall apart, I won't be any good to Trevor or anyone else and the last thing I want is to have my family worrying about me too. So its all about moving forward and looking after myself...running, because I know Trevor would want me to keep doing it and because it helps keep me fit and strong....eating, because I haven't been doing that much of that and I know its bad for me, especially if I'm starting to run more.

My drivers licence is on my to do list too. Its something I've put off for years, because Trevor was always there to drive me where I needed to go, but now I need to be the one driving him around in the future. My sister, Colleen has told me she will take me to book my learners licence as that is the first step and my neighbour Melinda says she knows someone who does driving lessons and will find out about that for me. So hopefully in the not too distant future, I will be a driver.

This whole situation has made me realize what truely wonderful family and friends I have and I am feeling so blessed. One of Seleste's friends, Kim, sent a really beautiful flower arrangement to Trevor, which certainly brightened up the day and I read the card out to him. Later, I realized there was a competition at the botton, so I posted a pic of the arrangement on the NetFlorist fb page in the hope that we might be lucky and win the prize, if we do, I'm sure that will please Trevor.

 

20.44pm - Aside from the fact that the cute puffer fish won't work out, this day just keeps having more positives in it. The visit with Trevor this evening was wonderful. He seemed relaxed most of the time, he was more awake and even responded to things we said a couple of times by nodding or shaking his head slightly, so I kind of feel on a bit of a high right now :)

Then on the way home, I saw on our whatsapp chat that my daughter Seleste was making some plans to organize some runners to run a race in Trevor's honor. The race I think is called the one run and Trevor and Seleste had entered. Seleste has organised entries for some other family members and arranged for my son Matthew to take over Trevor's entry to run for him. Quite a few people are joining in the idea of running the race in his honour and as Trevor is an avid runner I know this is something that will please him.

So many people are praying for Trevor and our family and each wonderful thing like this that happens I know is answers to those prayers.